How Not To Cook
by redcognito
Summary: Matt really shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen.


Disclaimers: They belong to L.J. Smith. Matt's siblings belong to his parents, though he's happy enough to sell them to you for the price of a new car. Hell, he'll let you have them for free! :D

Notes: Oneshot. Fluff, nothing serious, just a snippet of Matt's life. Thanks to Kim for the science, and Christina for the hot dogs. :)

* * *

How his mother managed to take care of three kids, herself, and do a full time job on top, Matt wasn't sure, but he was certain that she needed a medal for it. He was having enough problems feeding his siblings for one night while his mother worked late, and he was only heating up hot dogs. Simple, right? Apparently not, he concluded as he knocked a plate of hot dog buns off the side while diving to prevent the hot dogs themselves from boiling over.

He breathed a sigh of relief as a white hand shot out, preventing the plate hitting the floor. He looked up at Stefan with gratitude, thankful that his friend had finally got over his hang-up about coming into the Honeycutt house uninvited. If he hadn't, Matt would be in an even bigger mess right now, what with hot dogs boiling over, broken crockery, and answering the door to let Stefan in. And they'd be out of bread, because this was the last pack before his mother went shopping the next day. "Thanks," he said as Stefan put the plate back on the counter, carefully out of harm's way.

"Am I a little early?" Stefan stared questioningly at the chaos in the kitchen. He slid into a seat at the table to keep out of Matt's way.

"No, Mom is late. Overtime, so I get to feed the kids."

Stefan's sudden look of concern didn't exactly do much for Matt's self-esteem. "Is that wise? I mean, after that inci..."

"Yeah, yeah," Matt cut him off, knowing exactly which incident Stefan was talking about, and not wanting to be reminded of it. It had been an embarrassing balls up in Home Economics that had involved a cake mix with too much baking soda and an exploding oven. Mrs Gough had refused to let him set foot in the room again after that. His football teammates were still convinced he'd done it deliberately so he could stop taking the class, no matter how much he denied it.

Deciding the hot dogs were well past cooked, Matt cursed under his breath and strained the water off. He shared them equally between two plates, and dumped them unceremoniously on the kitchen table with the buns.

"Dinner!" he yelled as he sat himself down next to Stefan, a mug of much-needed coffee in hand. Seconds later, the thundering of elephants could be heard as his siblings clattered down the stairs and skidded to a halt and slipping into their seats. How the hell two kids, less than half his size, could produce so much noise amazed him. The pair of them stared down it their plates with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

His sister, Anna, poked a hot dog suspiciously. "I think it's still alive."

Corey, two years younger than Anna, rolled his eyes. "Matt already boiled them to death. They're really, totally dead now." He took a bite to show his sister it was safe, then grimaced. "Matt's cooking still sucks."

Anna turned doleful eyes towards the elder Honeycutt. "Do we have to eat this?"

"Yes, Anna, we don't have anything else, and Mom said we couldn't order pizza tonight because she hasn't been paid yet." He could see Stefan open his mouth, ready to offer to pay for pizza, and stamped down viciously on his foot under the table. His friend frowned, but shut his mouth anyway. It wasn't necessarily that he minded Stefan buying pizza once in a while, it was just that he refused to set a precedent for his siblings. Stefan was kind of fond of them, and if they worked out they could ply him for pizza once, they'd play him again in the future. Matt knew Stefan, and if he was faced with two kids giving him the patented Honeycutt puppy eyes, he'd cave in an instant. Anna and Corey didn't need spoiling like that. Money was tight, and they needed to understand that meant making do with what they had sometimes.

Besides, he knew his cooking wasn't great, but they didn't need to be so rude about it. They could damn well eat it, even if it did suck.

"But why aren't you and Stefan eating anything?" Anna was whining.

"Because there's only enough for you two," Matt said, his voice straining as he tried to stay patient.

"Stefan can have mine!" Corey smiled brightly and held out a hot dog under Stefan's nose. The vampire scrunched his nose as he eyed the limp object with something akin to abject terror. Matt really couldn't blame him, because he didn't think it looked that appetising, either. His culinary skills really did leave a lot to be desired when he managed to make a simple hot dog from a can look bad.

"That's really nice of you, Corey, but me and Stefan will grab some food later, after we've been to the movies." If anything, Stefan looked slightly greener at the thought of food later. Corey's hot dog sagged under its own weight, and then succumbed to gravity. It splatted onto the table in a soggy mess.

"I... uh. I'll be in the other room," Stefan choked out, beating a hasty retreat.

Matt stared at the mess for a second, before deciding Stefan had the right idea. "I'll join you."

Anna and Corey stared after their retreating brother, then down at their plates before looking up to meet each other's gaze. They sighed in unison as Corey grabbed the plates to dump the sorry remains in the waste disposal, and Anna headed for the cereal cupboard. One day, she'd be old enough to use the stove by herself. Until then, the only defence they had against Matt's awful cooking was breakfast cereal. It would do, for now.

"Cheerios or Froot Loops?" she asked as she pulled the boxes out.

Fin.


End file.
